Flies

I don’t like flies! I have never liked flies and I never will. There are lots of flies in New Zealand. So many that my favourite magazine here – NZ Gardener – just had a full page article on how to get rid of flies. First the author listed a number of ways that don’t work and then suggested growing mint and putting the pots in all the fly-infested rooms. Flies don’t like mint and will leave. If they don’t, then tickle the mint to increase the amount of fragrance they give off.

Now I plan to try this. I will take cuttings from my garden mint and start the process tomorrow. But! A question springs to mind. What’s the matter with screens? Why have the Kiwis not climbed on the screened window/door bandwagon? I understand why the older homes like our house at the farm don’t have screens. They were built when screens were either not invented or too expensive.

But what about now? My quarters over the garage are a pretty new addition and I have one window in each room that has one stationary side and one with a screen. The other two sets of windows don’t have screens! Why? What is the rationale behind this? Are the flies supposed to be deterred by the one screened window and give up?

 My experience is that they generally come up the staircase from the garage. Perhaps they are socially correct flies and wouldn’t dream of dropping in through a window. Following that logic, there should be no screens in my windows; all they do is keep the flies in. However, having been raised in a house with screens, I automatically leave those windows open and keep the others closed. Still it beats counting sheep for something to think about during my frequent bouts of insomnia.

There are an abundance of flies on a farm. Dan tells me not to worry about them; that fly-borne diseases don’t make it to rural areas. Oh yeah! What about flies visiting sheep or cow poo and then coming to visit us? Don’t tell me that there are no bacteria/germs making the trip to the big house.

Besides carrying unwanted germs (I have enough of my own, thank you very much), they are very annoying. They swarm around your head making vile whining noises (I get all the whining I need from a hungry 3-year-old’s “Why isn’t it ready yet” repeated endlessly until actually biting down on afternoon tea). And they leave little specks of fly poo all over that make you look as if you’ve never cleaned that room in your life.

I suppose in fairness I should state here that they are an excellent source of protein. Naavah, my 1-year-old granddaughter, is an avid scavenger of dead flies. She hears our electronic fly zapper go off and she crawls at the speed of light for the delicious, fried fly that will soon drift down like manna from heaven. And is she fast! She always manages to get at least get the fly in her mouth before I can reach her. It has gotten so bad that she automatically turns away when she sees me coming so that she can swallow in peace.

But aside from cutting down on the baby food bill, there is nothing good to be said for flies. They are major league pests  and I am on a campaign to introduce screens to this otherwise incredibly civilized country. Who knows, I may get a statue in Auckland Harbor as a result. Or they may look at me with that strained tolerance I know so well and deftly turn the subject. We’ll see.