A Well-Earned Promotion

As you know, I have been released from sheep and steer shifting duties due to my creative ideas on how the stock should be moved. Running them straight into my son was creative; unfortunately the sheep turned around and bolted up the hill. Not a pretty story but I did give my side of the story in an earlier blog.

Anyway, lately Yael has quietly slipped into my former position and for her the stock move efficiently into the designated paddocks. No fuss; no stubborn refusal to move, etc. etc. So I figured I was back to babysitting as a full time job. Interesting that they don't trust me with their stock but do with their offspring. Hmmm?

But yesterday I got my just reward! We took delivery of 3 additional black steers, bringing our total to 7 gorgeous, gentle bovines. Imagine my excitement when Dan explained that in order to keep these steers placid, they needed to be regularly exposed to human contact. Since everybody else in this family is back and forth to Auckland more than I am, guess who is the designated human.

Now the sheep and I have come to an understanding. I go stare at them twice a day. They stare back. I count them. They scatter, dodge, duck, and hide. I come away with a count (usually) of 11. Not bad out of 13. Sometimes more; on rainy days less.

I have talked to the cattle. They listen politely but I don't sense any true meeting of the minds. They chew their cud or let stalks of grass hang from their mouths, but no deep, meaningful rapport. So now that my audience has increased, I have been giving serious thought to topics that might be of interest to our herd.

I thought I might build audience involvement by giving them a daily briefing on how the rest of the farm is doing. For instance, I could tell them that we have been finding possum scat right on our front porch and that all trapping efforts have been fruitless. I think we have already killed off all the stupid possiums (a la Darwin) and now are left with the more cunning creatures. So far they are winning. Perhaps they would be wryly amused that I had the most beautiful potato plants in the world but no potatoes. I showed those potatoless plants; they are now contributing their mite to the compost pile.

Then I would move into the heart of the talk: the responsibilities of cattle toward their owners. I believe in positive reinforcement. I'll go with encouraging words on how well they are eating. I'll follow up with how important it is to move around the paddock and eat (and fertilize) all the area. The big finish will be when I discuss the adviseability of putting on poundage as quickly as possible. I will exhort them to remember the prime directive - eat so that others might feast. A tad tactless, you say? Perhaps you're right. I'm about to go out and give my first sermon. I'll let you know how it works out.