Downside on the Farm

To explain what I mean by ‘downside’, I first need to take you on a tour of my living quarters. I live over a three car garage. You can enter through one of the three bays or from the house via a covered passageway so I am pretty secure from human invaders.

Not so for the rest of the animal kingdom. The covered passageway is latticed along the side not abuting the house or garage. This lattice is an open invitation (pun intended) for all sorts of critters. During the day we often leave the bays open so the avian population also comes to call; following the wind currents up my staircase and then turning left into my bathroom or right into the living area.

The doors to both areas are generally left open for two reasons. One is that I am a hospitable creature and enjoy the occasional guest and the second is that the doors have problematic locks. The bathroom door can only lock from the inside but it can be securely shut. The living room door can only be locked from the outside and any wind will blow the unlocked door open. Obviously I don’t lock my door when I am out and around the farm and can’t lock it at night since I’m inside.

So I get to the farm Wed. night still shaky and fall into bed at 6pm. Whatever illness I have had has been virulent and my recovery slow. I sleep for 12 hours awakening only for the calls of nature. On one of these calls, I move the 12 lb. weight keeping my door closed, step to the landing and discover a fair smattering of rat pellets. I sweep them up and return to bed.

The next morning I gather my laundry basket from the bathroom and head into the main house and the washing machine which is located right by the back door and the covered passageway. I bend over and pull up the first fleece jersey and out moseys a rat. Now I confess, I am not a fan of rats. I have faith that God made them for a reason but He also made me shiver and want to throw up when I see them.

This rat obviously has no harsh feelings toward me. She ambles toward the doorway and stops as if deciding what to wear in the great outdoors. My screams marginally encourage her to take the day as she finds it and off she goes.

I kick the basket outside. I still shiver to think what would have happened if the rat had decided to turn into the house rather than away. So here I am kicking the basket out to the porch. I then kick it upside down. Finally I start picking up my clothes – very carefully. Hordes of rat pellets splash out onto the bricks. Now I shudder at the thought of that rat nestled in my undies. Not a good morning!

But I am woozy and go back to bed. As usual I put the weight In front of the door and fall asleep. The weight is a recent addition. I never used to shut my door at all until I woke up one night to something walking over me while I slept. I have tried convincing myself that it was a stray cat but my heart knows it was something creepy. Hence the weight. However sometimes the wind is very strong and manages to push the door and the weight open a few inches.

This is what has happened on my fateful day. So I wake up midafternoon to see the door slightly ajar and my rat placidly wandering around my kitchen area. I yell at her to go away. With a hurt look she walks slowly to the landing. I can see her tail as she sits there. Luckily I had remembered to close the bathroom door so that area is off limits. I yell again as I get to the door and down the steps she goes. I slam the door shut , reposition the weight and return shaking to bed.

When I look back on events, I realize that that was one fat rat. I think she is pregnant and looking for a place to give birth. The idea does not please me. Lots of places to make a nest in a three car garage. What if she nestles into my wool? The possibilities are many.

Anyway, I don’t like rats and being a suburbanite, I had never encountered one before. I hope never to encounter one again. But this surely can be rated a downside of living on a farm.